Why you shouldn't joke about rape.

I've never told anyone this story before except my parents and two people because I felt as though I didn't want anyone to pity me but it was a life lesson. I can't go back and change it; the cousin that everyone praises and went to college and they all think he's such a big shot and good role model. No, he raped me, in my own grandparents house in my uncle's house. He locked me in there and made me give him oral, that scum of the fucking earth. His life has no meaning and people like him deserve to rot in hell and enjoy it there. I wish my life was sweet and perfect but it's not. I cried out for help and no one down stairs heard me, they just talked away, I was too afraid to tell anyone because this happened when I was like 7 or 8, something like that. I rarely see him and he doesn't do it to me anymore because now I am aware that if he did do it, I would tell on him. I finally told my parents a year or two ago. They asked why I just now told them, it's because I was too scared. I couldn't tell anyone and when my brother (the one I don't like) heard about this, he didn't believe me. He thought I was lying, I'm not. No one notices but there is a reason I don't wear skirt or don't like bending over because I think a man is looking at me. It's because of him. I wish he was guilty of rape and couldn't get a job or a life because of it, I wish I said it earlier but I was young and ignorant. Everyone would laugh down stairs and have conversations with each other and didn't hear what was going on upstairs. I don't remember if he threatened me but I felt scared. He graduated college and looks as if not happening or thought I forgot. I didn't forget, how can I forget something like that. That scum better not ever talk to me again, or I'll kill him and the next person to touch me like that again will get killed too. I made up excuses for why I was raped, that it was molestation or it was all my fault and then I realized. That's why I hate people joking about rape or saying shit on YouTube, like I raped the replay button or saying shit to their friends how they are going to rape them. No, you need to die. I will say one day to the rest of my family, he raped me and why are they appraising a sick incest rapist. That scum of the fucking earth and I wish someone would end his life already and although it's too late to tell the police, I will not let him do what he did to me to another woman. His aunt (his mother) doesn't know he raped me and to be honest I don't know if I should tell them because they probably won't believe me. So next time, think before you speak and about rape and no, women shouldn't cover up to prevent you from trying to rape them. A woman or man's clothes don't provoke you, you provoke yourself. This secret is between me and you.