Is it weird I don't want to live past 40?

Like I am not saying I want to commit suicide but I really don't want to see past 40, I hate aging. I'm scared of only two things and that's death and ghosts. I hate birthdays more than anything and I wish I was immortal as well as the people I cared about. I don't care about anyone else. I already think 17 is really old, now just imagine me being 40. I would feel like I am 200 years old. You try to kill me but it can't be done because my words are going to live forever. Another reason I want to die early is because I don't want to see all my love ones dying before me and that would just be depressing. Why can't we all just die at the same time so I got nothing to miss out on? I think about death a lot, and I admit that. I'll stop the sad and depressing points and it's even scarier because every year you're passing the day of your future death. Creepy right? Even though dying isn't in the plans, neither is making it and here I am.